Couch Bandits

***DISCLAIMER*** This blog is written for me, by me and of me. This is blogweiser, this is my blog. And as we all know I am not accustomed to censoring any bit of information that might be deemed offensive. But today I am embarking into new territory, since what follows is not only offensive, but could actually be incriminating. Therefore, I am issuing a qualifier before my following criminality is exposed. Whatever is read following this disclaimer is true. However, reading the following dubs my writing false. If you want to know the truth, you’re going to have to settle for some lies. KAPEESH!!!!

Fireplace Chat
This story was originally titled “A moral decline on a timid Chico night,” because I wanted to give what happened meaning, give it shape. I desired to show the events that happened last Saturday as connected. The more beer my roommates and I consumed the more volatile we got, but this just isn’t true.

Story
6:00pm: Nick and I arrive back to the apartment from band practice. Tyler, my newer/sexier roommate (note, I will still cheat on him someday) was, and I quote “Tired of it.” A claim he makes quite often, and is always sarcastic. This statement has almost become the slogan for our apartment and for what our apartment stands for. Because we believe that no matter how much money, looks, polish and shit someone’s got, were tired of you and your shit. Think of us as lazy anarchists. We’ll say fuck off as soon as we get a chance, but feel mildly winded afterwards. Anyway, what he meant by that was it was time for Nick, my older/but still sexy roommate, and I to get some coals for the BBQ. So we did causing a slightly less “tired of it” Tyler.

7:00pm: Food is ready and it is BOMB! Probably the best meal I have ever had at a college apartment let alone my own place. We threw down like we were about to get electrocuted. Steak with fresh garlic and portebello mushrooms, southwestern cilantro sausages mixed in fresh grilled peppers and onions with BBQ corn on the cob on the side. We all toasted (the apartment + Matt and some neighbors) with a glass or two of two buck chuck. Obviously the next principle, but an equally important principle, is that we BBQ as much as possible. Since Tyler has moved in we have not missed a beat. We have hit the grill no less than 5 times in the last two and a half weeks. I’m proud to say I live at 920 west sac apt. 2. If you are government affiliated, read the disclaimer.


P.S. -- -- -- -- This will be released in segments due to the length.

Next segment to be released within 2 days::::: Snuggle by the fire place and get some rest you reader you!!!